Would you like to feel closer to your teenager?
Imagine your teenager walking into the house after school and being grumpy.
You say, “You seem out of sorts. What’s going on?”
They say, “School sucks. Everyone hates me. I have no friends.”
You say, “Well, it sucks feeling rejected! What happened?”
And you get a real response.
They continue to talk, and you notice a slight change in mood as you listen to how they feel.
After they get it all out, they stick around for a few more minutes to chat instead of escaping to their room.
You think, Damn, it felt great that they finally opened up to me!
You’re relieved to know what is going on with them.
You love that you helped them feel better.
You feel close to them again.
Listen. This is possible for you.
I started out thinking parenting is fun!
Playing tag at the park, making chocolate chip cookies, and tubing at the Colorado River. Nighttime rituals like reading Harry Potter, bathtime giggles, and bedtime snuggles.
Of course, there were challenges along the way, but I parented intuitively, and life was pretty smooth.
Then, my children entered high school. Life got tough.
I started avidly reading parenting books, going to presentations, and listening to podcasts, searching for ways to keep my kids safe and thrive.
But the challenges of academic pressure, social media influence, and exposure to drugs and alcohol left me feeling scared, stressed, and exhausted.
As my worries increased, I tightened the reins, which made things worse.
We were never taught how to parent teenagers effectively.
In 2016, I learned a new parenting approach focused on slowing down and connecting with my kids—like we did when they were young. And instead of trying to control them with rules and punishments, I learned how to guide them to make better choices.
The arguments subsided, my frustration and worries decreased, and I felt so much better about my parenting.
I want to teach you these strategies to make your life easier, too.
