The “all or nothing” trap

Sometimes you feel so exhausted because nothing you try is working.

You and your teen are on a merry-go-round of arguing and yelling and you can’t get off.

Your mind slips into doomsday thinking that it’s going to be this way forever.

She’s always moody.
He never cleans his room.
She always lies.
I will never be able to trust him.
She’s always rude.
He’s never going to be able to cope in college.

The problem with “always” and “never” is that it keeps you stuck feeling annoyed and frustrated.

You lose the ability to be patient, kind, or take an interest in your teen.

You’re just trying to survive.

When you want to get out of this trap, start by telling yourself,

They won’t be this way forever.

They are a little human on a journey of growth and development.

They aren’t going to “get it right” all the time.

They are still figuring things out.

Remember when you were in high school and life felt hard? 

When you tried to hold your shit together all day.

And then you came home and dumped it on your parents.

That’s because home was a safe place to unload your anxiety and stress. 

So listen.

Your teen isn’t trying to piss you off.

They are trying to figure things out.

Take a deep breath and tell yourself,

This is just for today. Not forever. 

♥️ Jeanine

P.S. I can teach you simple parenting strategies that have an immediate impact on your teen’s behavior. Start enjoying these years. Take the first step and let’s talk.

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