The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side

Dave’s business is more successful than mine. Jennifer and Jack’s marriage is more loving. If only I had Scott’s 6-pack of abs. Nicole got into Berkeley and my daughter did not. Beth’s skin looks so youthful. 

We all do it. Comparing ourselves to others. 

Why do we assume that our friend’s situation is better than our own?

A client’s life looked picture perfect on the outside. She lived in a beautiful home, her husband adored her, and her children were at top colleges. Yet, she felt isolated, lonely, and experienced little meaning in life. On the surface one would assume her life was idyllic, but she was actually very unhappy.

The truth is, we have no idea how happy other people are. It is human nature to compare other people’s situations to our own and assume they have a better life. We assume that accomplishments equate to feelings of meaning and life satisfaction.

But does this serve us?

Comparing ourselves to others leaves us feeling a lack of “enoughness” in our life. When we focus on people who seem more accomplished, more athletic, more attractive, or more loved, we are left feeling dissatisfied.

My children had pen pals at an elementary school in East Africa. The contrast in privilege was dramatic. Yet, these children, with so very little, were incredibly joyful.

What do we really want from life? The feeling of contentment, connection, and joy. 

When we get caught in the trap of thinking everyone’s life is better than ours, we miss what is wonderful, right before our eyes. 

Focus on what you do have. Think thoughts of gratitude. 

The satisfaction, meaning, and happiness you desire is right in front of you, not on the other side.