Are You a Perfectionist?
Perfectionists spend endless hours researching the ultimate school for their child, creating the ideal family holiday, or finding that elusive gift.
At work, they are so consumed with self-doubt about their performance, an upcoming project, or an important meeting that they feel paralyzed.
They may never be satisfied with their appearance, the tidiness of their house, or their achievements.
Living a life of perfection is exhausting. Sometimes when I write my weekly blog, I struggle to find a balance between what is “good enough” and what “could be better.” I often spend too much time trying to make my writing flawless. I find myself stuck in the wasteland of perfectionism.
When we are overwhelmed with our need to make things perfect or obsess about what is wrong, we block our creativity and intuition from flourishing. It’s the fear of making a mistake that keeps us from moving forward.
There may be a powerful voice inside your head filling you with self-doubt and telling you you’re not good enough or you are not worthy. It’s your inner critic exuding pressure to try to keep you safe from embarrassment, humiliation, and the fear of being judged.
Dr. Paul Hewitt, one of the most respected research psychologists said, “The need to be or appear to be perfect is a defensive position and serves, in a costly and ineffective manner, the purpose of attempting to solve problems of not fitting, not belonging, not being accepted or mattering to others, and problems of feeling, at the core, not good enough, flawed, defective, fragile, and unworthy.”
We often lose sight of what’s really important: connecting with our loved ones, stepping into our authenticity, and sharing our unique gifts. Here are 3 things you can do to get unstuck:
Identify it. Bring awareness to that voice inside your head that is trying to subvert your gifts. Observe it with curiosity and grace.
Validate it. Accept that this is a part of you that is trying to keep you safe from embarrassment. But it does not represent all of you.
Regain your power. Thank it for keeping you safe from humiliation and let go of its control over you. You don’t need it anymore.
Each week I challenge myself to get out of my head and into my heart—to quiet that inner critic and find the courage to publish my blog. I lean into vulnerability and tap into confidence, knowing that being a life coach is what brings meaning to this chapter of my life.
Let’s all disempower our inner critic and tap into our greatness.
“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”
—Maya Angelou
