Criticizing vs. Celebrating

Are you focused on what your teen is doing wrong instead of what they are doing right?

You have a vision of your teen’s wonderful potential.

When you see them making choices that don’t honor that, you can’t help yourself but comment.

You think your advice is helping them.

But they are a teen trying to exert their independence and what they hear is, “My mom thinks I’m wrong and I make bad decisions.”

The result is they don’t take your advice and you have created distance between you. 

There is a better way.

Notice how your thoughts speed past what your teen is doing well.

If you are like most parents, you don’t take the time to talk about these wins with your teen.

You are missing a beautiful opportunity to help your child identify with their strengths and gifts which builds their self-confidence.

I am not suggesting a comment like, “Good job.”

Instead, have a conversation about their accomplishment.

Notice and acknowledge their effort.

Describe in detail what they did well. 

Ask them, “How did you do that? or “What did you do to make that happen?”

This helps them self-identify with their unique gifts.

For example, “I am witty.” “I am creative.” “I am a good friend.”

This creates a new, positive framework for them to make future decisions. 

Just like you need to fill up the gas tank so your car runs smoothly, when you fill up your teen with what they are doing well, they will naturally be the best version of themselves.

Your Coach,
Jeanine

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