Don’t let your thoughts fool you.
Most days you imagine a thriving future for your teen: attending a great college, securing an exciting job, having a successful career, and creating a beautiful family.
But when they veer off the path you imagined, fear takes over.
It’s scary to watch your teen make poor choices.
It’s frightening to think about the potential consequences of their actions.
When fear takes over, there is an overwhelming urge to try to control the situation.
You tell them what they “should” do.
You try to fix their problem.
You give a “life lesson.”
When this happens ask yourself, “Am I saying this to help my teen or to make myself feel better?”
Beware.
Your thoughts are tricky.
You will think what you are doing is for their benefit.
But chances are it’s to make you feel better.
Now that they are a teen, it’s time to back off.
I’m not saying to throw your hands up and do nothing.
I’m not saying to eliminate all boundaries and limits.
I am saying, let their brain do the work to come up with a solution.
Although this is challenging, when you do it two shifts occur:
Conflict decreases because you are not telling them what to do or giving a punitive consequence.
They develop the problem-solving skills they need for adulthood like time management, clear communication, managing relationships, adhering to commitments, and healthy habits.
If what you really want is for your teen to become a thriving adult, ask yourself, “What does my teen need in this moment?”
It’s scary to loosen the reins, but you can do this.
Your Coach,
Jeanine
P.S. In my 6-month coaching program, I will teach you the exact steps to take to help your teen develop strong problem-solving skills so you can have more trust and harmony.
Book a call HERE.
