Why can’t my teen just do the right thing?

They don’t turn off their device when they are supposed to.
They are friends with a classmate who is not a good influence.
They are secretive about their first party.

Your teen pushes to get what they want.
And you are exhausted enforcing your family boundaries.

At some point, it’s easier to give in.
Doubt creeps in as you question your parenting decisions. 

You are often left wondering, “Why can’t they just do the right thing?”

Let’s get you out of this unpleasant cycle.

You have values that you care about like honesty, trust, and safety.

Share your values with your teen.
Ask them what values are important to them?
Together, establish a set of family values.

This provides a framework for collaborative conversations that honor those values.
And intrinsic motivation for your teen to make good choices.

Let’s say your teen wants to go to a high school party and one of your family values is safety.

Have a conversation prior to the party.
You want them to think about how they can stay safe.

Start by saying, “You want to go to the party and I want you to go, too. And be safe.”
Ask them, “What will you do if you feel pressure to drink or smoke?”

There is a good chance their answer will calm your fears.
And, you didn’t have to tell them what they should or shouldn’t do.

If there are limits you want to add, connect them to your family value of safety. 
They will be more receptive because you are collaborating.

Now there is a plan in place to keep them safe.

No drama. No conflict.
Just a calm conversation.

They feel like you trust them to make good choices.
This builds their responsibility and confidence.

You worry less.
You feel more confident they will be okay.

Who wouldn’t want that?

Your Coach,
Jeanine

P.S. My 6-month coaching program will teach you all the tools and strategies you’ve never had access to. It’s like getting a masters in parenting with a 1:1 teacher. Click HERE to get started. I can’t wait to meet you!