I wish I had talked to my teen before they went to college

You have a few weeks left before your child goes to college.

What will you focus on?

The dorm shopping list OR meaningful conversations?

If you notice it’s the shopping list, that’s because you are human!

Your brain looks for something easy to control to settle needling worries in the back of your mind.

But what will make you feel better AND have a huge impact on your teen is to talk about the topics causing anxiety.

Alcohol, drugs, sex, consent, love, health, friendships, independence, money, and time management, just to name a few.

You can help prepare your teen by having these uncomfortable conversations.

Does that sound scary?

I’m sure it does, especially if your parents didn’t openly discuss topics like this. 

Here is a way to ease into these conversations: 

Think about what you really want.

If you are like me, you want to ensure that when things get tough, your child will reach out to you.

First, reassure them that they can tell you anything.

“College can be challenging. But, you can always call me. I won’t get angry or judge you. We can figure out any problem together.”

Talk about strengths they embody by sharing specific actions you’ve noticed. This builds their confidence.

“You really took a strong leadership role at your job this summer. What did that feel like?”

Ask them what they are looking forward to. What are their hopes and expectations? 

Then, approach difficult conversations by sharing something you heard and get curious about their thoughts. 

“Your cousin had a tough time in college with her friends pressuring her about calories and exercise. What are your ideas about how to handle this if it happens to you?”

“My girlfriend shared that a girl told her son’s friends he raped her. But her son said they just kissed. What do you think he should do?” 

“A college student in our neighborhood bought Adderall that was laced with fentanyl. What do you know about fentanyl?” Follow up with, “I heard Narcan immediately reverses the effects. Is that something you would like to have to help a friend in need?”

Give them a chance to share their thoughts.

What are their fears and worries?

Reassure them that what they are feeling is normal.

Listen, I know it’s easier to avoid these conversations.

But when you engage and connect with your teen, your anxiety will decrease, they will feel more prepared, and your relationship will strengthen.

Your coach,
Jeanine

P.S. It’s never too late to have these conversations. I’ve got your back. Reach out and book a call HERE. 

P.P.S. Could a friend benefit from reading this? If so, please share.