The Secret to Raising a Confident Teenager (That No One Talks About)

I still remember the look on my client Stacey's face when her daughter told her about the difficult conversation she'd just had with her friend group.

"Mom, I finally stood up for what I thought was right, even though everyone disagreed."

This is what so many parents tell me they want most: to raise a confident child who believes in themselves.

But here's what I've discovered after coaching hundreds of families:

The #1 trait confident teenagers share isn't talent or intelligence—it's self-trust.

They trust their knowledge. They trust their ability. They trust their intuition.

So how do we help them develop this essential foundation?

Let's first look at what actually undermines it.

When we try to control our teenagers, we quietly dismantle their self-trust.

We tell them what they should do, why they're wrong, or fix situations for them:

"You should study with Jenny to do well on your test."
"You don't look fat. You look beautiful."
"I'll take care of that application for you."

I know firsthand how difficult it is to resist this urge when fear grips your heart. You love them fiercely. You want to protect them from pain.

But these well-intentioned actions unintentionally teach them that their knowledge, ability, and intuition aren't trustworthy.

The real transformation happens when we shift from controlling to trusting that they can solve challenges through their own trial and error.

Yes, this feels terrifying.

But if we want them to build self-trust, we must first trust them.

🌈 Your teenager builds self-trust when they answer a question in class and get it right.

🚀 They build self-trust when they take the shot and make it.

🔑 They build self-trust when they listen to their intuition that senses danger.

And it is this self-trust—built moment by moment, challenge by challenge—that creates a truly confident child.

❤️ Jeanine

P.S. Stephanie is just one of hundreds of parents who've discovered the power of building self-trust in their teenagers:

"Before working with Jeanine, I was exhausted from constantly directing and correcting my son. Now? He's planning ahead for tests, making his own decisions about bedtime, and even asking for things he needs days in advance! The most amazing moment was when he realized on his own that he needed to understand Spanish concepts rather than just memorize words. His confidence has skyrocketed since I started trusting him to solve his own problems, and I'm finally enjoying being his mom again."

Want to start better conversations that build your teenager's self-trust? Download my free guide, 5 Questions That Get Teens Talking, and discover how the right questions can open doors to deeper connection and greater confidence.