This strategy really helped a few of my clients this week.

When you are frustrated with your teen’s behavior, think about it like they haven’t learned a particular skill yet. 

Let’s say they are bickering with their sibling, spending too much time on their device, or not eating healthy food.

You might yell, “Stop fighting with your brother!” or, “It’s time to put your device away!” or, “Why are you eating fast food when there are plenty of healthy options at home?”

When you think their actions aren’t good for them, you want them to do something different. 

You are trying to help them become a better person.

(Plus, their behavior is annoying.)

But when you try to force a particular behavior to fit your expectations, it blows up

Instead, say to yourself, “My teen is working on developing the skill of (insert skill).”

In the examples above, the skill is self-control: restrain from antagonizing a sibling, regulate device time, and choose healthy food options.

Self-control is simply a skill they haven’t mastered yet. 

(Frankly, I’m still working on self-control when consuming chocolate!)

Their behavior is not a reflection of your parenting.
And it’s not a reflection of who your child is.

Your teen is on a journey of self-development, and you are their guide.

Think of it as, “It’s you and me against the problem.”

Ask yourself, “What can I do to help them build this skill?”

This approach eliminates conflict.

Your teen feels your love and support.

♥️ Jeanine

P.S. Are you willing to try new ways to communicate to have the relationship you want with your teen? Let’s get started today. Schedule a call HERE.

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