When Your World is Crashing Down

Last week was tough. My heart was heavy from the Capitol Hill break-in, my parenting skills were challenged, and I was overwhelmed with my business goals.

How do we help ourselves when it feels like life is spinning out of control?

We focus on what we can control. 

Here’s an exercise that will do wonders for your peace of mind:

Grab a piece of paper and draw a circle like the one in the image above. Imagine yourself inside the circle. Now, write down all of the things that are in your control. 

Start with the first things that come to mind. For me, that’s eating healthy, exercising, and wearing a mask. 

Then dig a little deeper: connecting with friends and family, spending time on social media, and listening with empathy.

Then dig even deeper: letting my kids solve their own problems, setting boundaries, and acknowledging that I control my thoughts and feelings.

Now, outside your circle, write everything that is NOT in your control. Things like the weather, traffic, and the pandemic quickly come to my mind.

Explore a little further: the action of others, technology challenges, and a frightening health diagnosis.

Even deeper: my children’s actions, what other people think about me, and how long I’m on this earth.

Now, close your eyes and take 3 full, slow breaths.

When you open your eyes, look at what is inside your circle. Focus on those items. 

Let everything outside your circle melt away. If you are thinking about something that is not in your control—LET. IT. GO. There is nothing you can do about that. It is pointless to put your energy towards it. 

Sometimes this is challenging because we keep asking ourselves, “Why did this happen?”

We may never know why something happened—a friend not returning your call, your child quitting their job, or a loved one getting cancer. To some extent, the reason why really doesn’t matter and the more we ruminate on problems we cannot fix, the less energy we have.

There are many things that you can’t control. Focusing on what you can control – those items inside your circle – will bring you the results you want.

By doing this, you impact your own energy and the energy of those around you!

There is a lot of heaviness in the world today. However, you are resilient and can bounce back from any perceived setback. Choose to focus on what’s in your control and you will feel exponentially better.

Where your focus goes, your energy flows. 

“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.” 
—Wayne Dyer