How to Get Your Daughter to Dump Her Boyfriend
Your daughter is dating a guy you don’t like.
You don’t think he brings out the best in her.
You know there isn’t balance in their relationship.
He is not who you imagined she would end up with.
You think the problem is she just doesn’t see things clearly.
You think the solution is to point out his flaws.
But instead of motivating her to end the relationship, she pushes you away.
Now you are frustrated because nothing has changed.
Now you are sad because she isn’t speaking to you.
Spend a few moments and think about what makes your relationship successful.
A few things that make my marriage work are common values, shared interests, different strengths, and support for each other’s passions.
Approach your daughter with this in mind and strike up a conversation from a place of curiosity.
“I’m really interested in getting to know your boyfriend through your eyes.”
“What do you love about him?”
“What do you two enjoy doing together?”
“How does he make you feel?”
“What about him do you admire?”
This solution works because you create a safe, non-judgmental space where she doesn’t feel your disapproval. Instead, she feels you are taking an interest in a person that is important to her.
Your questions open the possibility that she will think about her relationship on a deeper level.
This approach might give you an opportunity to share what makes your relationship loving and healthy.
And perhaps, after your conversation, your feelings about him might even change.
Teens and young adults are confident that they know what’s best for them. If you want to be a part of guiding them, accept that circumstance and change the conversation. This can give you the outcome you want.
P.S. I can help you change the conversation, so you feel more at ease and connected to your daughter. Reach out and let’s talk.
P.P.S. If you want to dive deeper and engage with me, head on over to Instagram.
“Obstacles are those frightening things you see when you take your eye off the target.”
—Curt Carlson
