How to Navigate from Worry to Calm
It’s scary raising kids. Parenting often feels like scaling a cliff where any wrong move could result in a disastrous fall. We fear the abyss that lies below in the same way that we worry about the impact of our children making the wrong decisions. Unfortunately, this worry only leads to friction between you and your child.
Does this scenario sound familiar? Your child performs poorly on a test, so you:
think he should have studied more or she needs to get off social media.
worry poor grades will impact their future choices.
create more restrictions to try to control the outcome.
The result: your child is annoyed, irritated, and angry with you and they don’t change their study habits.
How do we gain the confidence that everything is going to be okay while facing the scary abyss of potential failure?
Consider the possibility that your interpretation of why your child performed poorly might be wrong. This creates a safe space for your child to share what is on their mind that might have impacted their performance.
How do you do this?
Approach the conversation with tenderness, curiosity, and empathy.
Start by describing what you observe without a tone in your voice.
“I see you got a ‘D’ on that exam.”Next, be curious without judging.
“What do you think happened?”Then, listen to their feelings and validate them.
“It makes sense you would be upset about a low test grade.”Finally, ask them for their solution.
“What would you like to do differently?”
This is what guidance looks like.
This is the quickest path to ease your worry.
This is how you demonstrate your trust in their ability to come up with smart solutions.
This helps your child to develop confidence and autonomy.
The result: your worry decreases, calm permeates your home, and you build the connection you desire.
P.S. Why would you wait until you are at a breaking point to learn these skills? Partner with me now to create the relationship you want.
P.P.S. If you want to dive deeper and engage with me, head on over to Instagram.
“There are times when the greatest change needed is a change of my viewpoint.”
—Denis Diderot
