What to Do When Your Son is Acting Reckless

Your son is engaging in reckless behavior. 

You’re not sure why, but you just want it to stop.
You feel like things are getting out of control.
All you can think about are the potentially damaging consequences.

You try to explain all the reasons why his actions are a bad idea.
You think he finally understands.
But he is just paying lip service to get you off his back. 

Life was so much easier when he was young and listened to you.
He knew if he didn’t, he wouldn’t get that special dessert or his TV privileges.

But now, bribes and punishments aren’t so effective. 

All you can think about is the damaging consequence of his poor decision. 

Your emotions skyrocket.
Fear takes over.
You feel like you have no other choice but to express yourself and tell him what’s on your mind.
And you must do it immediately. 

This is the absolute worst time to say what’s on your mind. 

You say things that are hurtful.
You say things that aren’t helpful. 

He feels like you are disappointed in him.
He returns your anger with anger.
What you thought was an appropriate solution to the problem has created a bigger problem. 

We are human.
It’s perfectly natural to feel scared when our children engage in reckless behavior.
But it’s what we choose to do next that determines our outcome. 

When you feel your heart pounding and your pulse racing over his behavior, it’s time to do an emotion check-in. 

Try asking yourself, “On a scale of 1-10, how heated are my emotions right now?” 

If they are above a 5, I would suggest that you take a pause before you approach your son. 

When your emotions are heated and you engage in a conversation, this is the absolute worst time to talk and often creates a wedge between you. 

Pausing enables your emotions to deflate. 
You can now think more clearly.
You can choose to thoughtfully respond instead of emotionally react. 

This will give you the more desired outcome of open communication and deep connection so you can get to the root of the problem. 

P.S. I can teach you how to manage your fears so that you create different results when you are speaking to your son. Reach out and let’s partner.

P.P.S. If you want to dive deeper and engage with me, head on over to Instagram.

“When we have strong emotions, we are liable to fool ourselves.”
—Carl Sagan