How to Help Your Struggling Daughter

It’s not easy to watch your daughter’s world crashing down.

Her friends are excluding her.
Her grades are dropping.
She’s hiding in her room behind the closed door. 

What happened to the days when she and her friends giggled during sleep overs?
Doesn’t she realize the consequence of her grades dropping?
Hiding in her room is not going to fix anything. 

You might tell her that her friends are jerks and to hang out with other girls.
You might point out the impact of her grades dropping.
You might suggest she go outside for a walk in the sunshine. 

All great suggestions with good intentions.
However, the underlying, unintentional sentiments are blame, expectations, and fear.
Unfortunately, your solutions don’t change anything. 

It is natural for your daughter to face challenges.
She feels rejected by her friends.
She feels like she’s not smart enough to “succeed” at school.
She wants you to be proud of her. 

And of course, you feel worried and want to help when she is hurting. 

You can help her by accepting that this is her experience right now.
It’s not forever.
Just right now. 

The fact is you know her better than anyone.
So how can you help her cope with what she is currently feeling? 

Create a safe space for her to share what she's thinking and feeling.
Validate her feelings to normalize them and enable her to release them. 
Help her to come up with her own solutions. 

Tell her how smart she is.
Tell her how confident you are she will come up with a plan.
Let her know you are always available to help her figure out what she wants to do. 

Just be present and resist the temptation to offer your own solutions.
That is the best path forward.
I know because I have experienced this in my own family. 

This allows your daughter to believe in herself.
This elevates her self-confidence.
This helps her to become a thriving, independent, happy young adult. 

When she can’t believe in herself, you can hold the belief for her.
Show her what she’s capable of.
Show her what’s possible. 

P.S. I can help you teach your daughter to believe in herself. Partner with me in my private coaching program. To get started, email me a few times you are available, and we will set up a complimentary call. 

P.P.S. If you want to dive deeper and engage with me, head on over to Instagram.

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”
—Maya Angelou