How to Impact Your Young Adult’s Choices Effectively

When I’m coaching moms, I notice a common frustration. Their child is not doing what they want them to do.

When they see their child scrolling through Tik-Tok, playing video games, or staying up late glued to their phone, they want to say, “Start studying for your test,” or “You are going to be late for volleyball practice,” or “Apply for a summer job.”

Their hearts start pounding and frustration skyrockets as they are consumed with the thought, “Stop procrastinating and take care of your responsibilities!”

Their child is smart, athletic, and resourceful, yet they seem to be wasting their time, avoiding their commitments, and being lazy.

Does this sound familiar? 

Do you find yourself walking towards your child’s room, compelled to ask them, “How is school going?” as they are engaged in an activity that you deem a waste of time?

As the discussion unfolds, your child gets irritated and annoyed with you. They say, “Mom, I got it!” Your body fills up with stress and anxiety as you think, “You got nothing.”

You have a vision of what your child’s life could be. When they aren’t working towards your vision, you get irritated.

You go into “fix it” mode and start offering solutions to help them manage their responsibilities.  

You might think, “If they just did what I’m telling them to do, they would be successful.” You don’t recognize that what you want them to do is your solution to the problem, not theirs.

As much as we like to think we have control over our children’s choices and actions, we don’t. But what we do have control over is how we respond when we are frustrated.

In order to impact your child’s choices effectively, focus on your big picture vision for them. Most people want a happy, thriving, and independent young adult. 

When you focus on your long-term, desired result, you can adjust how you interact with them in order to impact their choices and have a net-positive relationship.

The cycle of your frustration and their irritation is optional. It can be stopped when you honor their needs and desires along with your own.

This is something I work with my clients on A LOT.

I teach them how to create a calm, cooperative environment with their children by: 

• Reducing the frustration and exhaustion in their daily lives.

• Teaching them how to respond to their child so that the problems solve themselves.

• Training their brains to think like an expert and have lasting, positive results.

If you’re looking for help on how to manage all the stress of raising young adults to be happy, thriving, and independent, I can show you how to do that.

P.S. Reach out via email and we can discuss how my coaching program can help.

P.P.S. If you want to dive deeper and engage with me, head on over to Instagram 

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” 
—Helen Keller