How to Have That Uncomfortable Conversation

Have you ever found yourself avoiding a conversation with someone? Maybe it’s your child who you worry might be making poor choices. Perhaps it’s a colleague who dismisses your ideas. Or maybe it’s your spouse who is irritating you. 

It makes perfect sense that you would avoid addressing an issue because you are concerned the conversation might make matters worse. Many people go through life avoiding a situation because it just seems easier to forget about it.

But do we really forget about it? Does “sweeping it under the rug” make it disappear or does it percolate in our subconscious, creating negative energy without us realizing it? 

Here’s how to eliminate that negative energy:

• First, recognize that avoidance is a normal response to situations requiring uncomfortable confrontations.

• Next, realize that you don’t have control over someone else’s behavior; therefore, the current situation is unlikely to change.

• Now, choose what you want to do about it. 

Walking through these 3 steps of awareness, acceptance, and choice when you are avoiding a conversation is empowering.

When you are ready to make a conscious choice about what you want to do, try to look at the situation from a different perspective.

What is it that you really want? 

Perhaps it’s creating space for honest communication with your child in order to decrease your worries and guide them in their choices.

Maybe you want to increase your job satisfaction by creating a collaborative environment with your co-worker resulting in a successful outcome.

Possibly you desire your spouse to listen and understand your concerns in order to create a more loving relationship.

By shifting your mindset to focus on what you really want, you generate the motivation to have that conversation and create new possibilities.

Having an uncomfortable conversation requires vulnerability and courage. Take one small step in this direction. You’ll be amazed by the opportunities that will arise, simply by changing your approach.

“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”
—Maya Angelou